Try Goodbye
by Goodbye Angel
Summary: My feelings for him, I used to hate him, despise him, but now that’s all different. I love him. I hated him before, but never took the time to really get to know him and now…it’s just…


**_Try Goodbye_**

_A Hao and Ianna (OC) one-shot_**_  
_**

My eyes closed sadly. Everything had turned out so wrong. It wasn't like I had planed at all. My feelings for him, I used to hate him, despise him, but now that's all different. I love him. I hated him before, but never took the time to really get to know him and now…it's just…

I shook my head and moved away. We couldn't be together, that was obvious from the start. I knew that, I saw that. All this time I knew but I tried to ignore it and now, my feelings for him are so strong. It hurts to be away from him, so far away. The world we live in though, it's in a kind of fight, against good and evil. Why should that matter? Its simple, he's on the opposing side. We're on different teams and fighting for different things. I just wish it wasn't like that.

Why can't our worlds and the humans in it just try and see, try to understand. No, that's not at all like humans. Humans fear what they do not understand or can not explain with science. I can see now, why he hates humans so much, but I can't agree with him just killing them all like he wants. You see now, what side he is on.

I already know what they would ask if they knew. They would demand answers, an explanation of how I could fall in love with such a monster. It doesn't matter though, for I have no answer to give them. I wouldn't be able to explain because I myself do not understand it. I see it and feel it though. The feelings are crystal clear and so stronger.

As much as it hurts to know, I'm well aware that he feels the same way and that only makes it worse. We both have to suffer for it now. I was interested in learning more about this man to which I hated, so I started to talk to him, learn about him. Somewhere along my line of curiosity, I fell in love. The talking to him, the speaking with him, none of it had anything to do with curiosity anymore; it was just about knowing him and spending time with him. My curiosity became but an excuse so I could see and speak with him.

Still, I should have stopped then, when I realized my curiosity wasn't just curiosity. I should have been on my way then. Instead though, I continuously tried to pretend the feelings were non-existent. I tried to pretend that I just thought of him as a friend, but those weren't my feelings at all, I knew all along what this was turning into. I was ignorant though. I stupidly ignored every knowledgeable explanation and gut feeling I had and continued down the wrong path and look at where it led me.

I'm standing here, tears running down my cheek and a strong pain in my heart. Was it all really worth this? At this moment, I didn't believe it was worth this at all. I was in pain, I was upset and what could I do? Just pretend everything was alright and move on? If only it were that easy. If it were I would be long gone already and as happy as a smiley-face sticker. It wasn't that easy though, we both knew that.

I couldn't stand to look at him any longer. I had to look away. Maybe I was ashamed of my ignorance. Maybe I just didn't want to make this harder by letting him see my tears. Maybe I just didn't want him to see me cry, so upset. I didn't want to make this harder for either of us. I just wanted to say goodbye and get it over with.

My voice came out in a hushed, shaky whisper as I spoke. I tried to apologize. I tried to blame myself but he wouldn't hear it. He tried to tell me this wasn't my fault, his hand running over my cheek softly. He wiped the tears away. I looked up at him for what only seemed like a second before looking away and stepping back.

For once I needed to worry about him and me instead of just myself. I needed to leave before this got worse, before it became harder on us both. My voice was soft as I whispered goodbye. I backed away slowly before turning around and walking away. I needed to calm myself alone before I could head back to my friends.

I prayed that these feelings would fade away, but I knew that wouldn't be for a long, long time.

* * *

Upon shocking inspiration I decided to write a part 2 to our originally 1 part story, "_No Goodbye_". This time though, we can view the scene through Ianna's eyes rather then Hao's. I found this half somewhat more difficult to write, but I believe it came out very well all things considering. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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